How does it feel to do yoga? In this body?

People seem to be so amazed and impressed by what my body can do and most times they let me know this after a class. Although that amazement is being framed in a complimenting way, as the years go by, I find myself feeling a little strange after being told that by a fellow practitioner. It’s judgement about my practice and whether or not its “good or bad”, it’s judgement, it’s really all the same. I don’t notice too many people when I practice, but I do think that took practice, as well.

 But the thing is, I have learned that how my body moves has more to do with my heart and my soul, than it has to do with the movements of my body. You can’t see the real yoga going on inside and that, to me, is the amazing part. Within my practice, I feel a sense of freedom from the form that is the me you see.  On my mat, I am almost transported to this alternate place in me where I am shining brighter, where I find my love for myself, where everything is ok and perfect. I never liked to use the word perfect, but I use it in the sense of truth; your truest, best, perfect self, which is beyond the shapes of our bodies.

I feel we are so conditioned to feel like we are not enough; the cause of all our suffering, so when I am on the mat, sitting in meditation, studying the ways to live the yogic path, I am constantly being rerouted back to my truest self, which gets lost within the conditions of being human. The asana practice is a small part of what is, really, a means to an endless existence, beyond form, and one that is free of suffering and fear, instead, full of a deep love and true gratitude for the life you have and everything around you. Yoga is the union between the body and mind, but also our union to each other and the world around us, seeing the beauty in all of it.

I have been practicing yoga in some shape or form for almost 20 years and I have gone through many different phases in my practice, which now has clearly become a journey towards my ultimate path. But how does it feel? It feels like I am doing the best thing for myself, like I am truly showing love to myself every time I get on the mat, read the text, or sit in silence. I don’t feel particularly amazed by what my body can do, but more so impressed by how I am able to see this world through eyes of love. Seeing and feeling moments of contentment and bliss in the day, makes it easier to breathe and my practice has brought me to that place, which somedays, gives me a feeling that is truly indescribable.