Kill therefore with the sword of wisdom the doubt born of ignorance that lies in the heart. Be one in self harmony, in yoga, and arise great warrior, arise.
Bhagavad Gita

After yoga flow...

Fresh out of a practice, showered, then on with my day. Some days I don’t get the opportunity to start my days in this way. Other days I am lucky to end my day in this way. In both ways I have said thank you to myself by getting to class, getting on the mat, and maybe only breathing, but always present with myself. It’s the practice of love and it’s the truest love you can find in this world.

I have been practicing for many years and I am noticing how much it has changed. I am noticing how it has made me who I am or brought me back to who I was supposed to be before I let that go. It’s funny cause what happens to us? How do we lose our way? We live in a world that is full of people trying to find that ultimate happiness or bliss. Why is it so hard to get there?

I think that we are too consumed in the sense of competition that the search invokes. We think it’s supposed to look a certain way and once it looks a certain way then, and only then, we will feel the way we were searching for. As this search continues through the years of our life, we get further away from the contentment that is contained within us. It’s stuffed under bad relationships, bad habits or sanskaras, impulsive superficial purchases and envy of others. We lose all that makes us great, which is nothing that you can put your hands on.

When I was pregnant, I took my first yoga class. Yoga found me when I was in this place of transformation. I remember the warmth I felt in that class, I don’t remember too much more. Being in that class then in 1998, has led to where I am now. I wasn’t searching for a path, but I needed it.  I needed a way back to faith, ultimately faith in a higher power, but it began with faith in myself, that what I was about to get into, I was indeed capable of doing. It was a while after that class that I really set out on my journey in this life through yoga. A seed had been planted and once my mind was ready to let it bloom, once the mud was clear, I began a path back to me.

While living the life you have it’s hard to always see that you have stayed going in the right direction. Things happen and we are tested and we don’t always come out on top of situations, but it’s all good in some way. I am learning more every day to trust the process of this life through my practice. Yoga practice changes the energy that moves us in this life, we are more than we see and when we awaken the vessel we dwell in, we awaken all that is within us. It’s like we finally turn the engine on and set out on a journey instead of just sitting in the car looking out the window.

How does it feel to do yoga? In this body?

People seem to be so amazed and impressed by what my body can do and most times they let me know this after a class. Although that amazement is being framed in a complimenting way, as the years go by, I find myself feeling a little strange after being told that by a fellow practitioner. It’s judgement about my practice and whether or not its “good or bad”, it’s judgement, it’s really all the same. I don’t notice too many people when I practice, but I do think that took practice, as well.

 But the thing is, I have learned that how my body moves has more to do with my heart and my soul, than it has to do with the movements of my body. You can’t see the real yoga going on inside and that, to me, is the amazing part. Within my practice, I feel a sense of freedom from the form that is the me you see.  On my mat, I am almost transported to this alternate place in me where I am shining brighter, where I find my love for myself, where everything is ok and perfect. I never liked to use the word perfect, but I use it in the sense of truth; your truest, best, perfect self, which is beyond the shapes of our bodies.

I feel we are so conditioned to feel like we are not enough; the cause of all our suffering, so when I am on the mat, sitting in meditation, studying the ways to live the yogic path, I am constantly being rerouted back to my truest self, which gets lost within the conditions of being human. The asana practice is a small part of what is, really, a means to an endless existence, beyond form, and one that is free of suffering and fear, instead, full of a deep love and true gratitude for the life you have and everything around you. Yoga is the union between the body and mind, but also our union to each other and the world around us, seeing the beauty in all of it.

I have been practicing yoga in some shape or form for almost 20 years and I have gone through many different phases in my practice, which now has clearly become a journey towards my ultimate path. But how does it feel? It feels like I am doing the best thing for myself, like I am truly showing love to myself every time I get on the mat, read the text, or sit in silence. I don’t feel particularly amazed by what my body can do, but more so impressed by how I am able to see this world through eyes of love. Seeing and feeling moments of contentment and bliss in the day, makes it easier to breathe and my practice has brought me to that place, which somedays, gives me a feeling that is truly indescribable.

From the Book of Love

Reason has no way to say
its love. Only love opens
that secret.
                    If you want
to be more alive, love
is the truest health.

Rumi